


Deep Blue Sea

by FassAvoySub



Category: Das Boot (1981), James McAvoy - Fandom, Michael Fassbender - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Antiwar, Claustrophobia, Depictions of Death, Despair, Friendship, M/M, Male Friendship, Psychological Warfare, Submarines, World War II
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:20:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27527551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FassAvoySub/pseuds/FassAvoySub
Summary: James and Michael are best friends on a german submarine, James as Head engineer and Michael as his Captain. We follow them on an operational cruise between November and December 1941 and encounter the hardships of the Battle for the Atlantic.This Fic was strongly inspired by one of my favourite movies, Das Boot. In case you like my story, you should totally watch this movie afterwards. Since the movie is from 1981 it is natural, that neither James nor Michael could have had a part in it... they were just cute baby boys then...Regard this Fic as my personal dream-fancast-remake of the original. Have fun.
Relationships: Michael Fassbender/James McAvoy





	1. Chapter 1

Pers. Log KaLeu Fassbender  
La Rochelle, 8/11/1941

'Leaving Monday again for operational cruise. Business as usual, but I'm worried for my LI. Since he got news about his wife being ill he has become very quiet and pensive. Bad enough he's already worried about every news about air raids in the Cologne area, but now this illness which the Doctors can't yet explain... If I had a say in this I'd send him home, but the BdU denied my request. Instead I got a new 1WO. Young lad, toeing the line and devoted to the Führer. Exactly, what I needed... not. I can only hope, he's good...'

Fassbender shut his log and made himself ready to go out. It was Saturday night and his submarine would leave on Monday morning. Last chance to have a bit fun. He would put on his deep blue dress uniform, fetch his LI and friend Jay on the way and decently get tanked up... it was the last chance for weeks to come. Or maybe the last chance forever.  
This was the danger that always was hanging over him and every crew like the sword of Damokles. Every cruise could potentially be the last one. The Atlantic was vast and wild enough on its own, but their operational cruises on british escorted convoys made the thing even more dangerous. Why the heck had Britain to be an island? To conquer Belgium and northern France had been child's play compared to this. On solid ground it was much easier to cut off supplies and reinforcements than it was at sea.  
He exhaled sharply and full of contempt. Germany didn't have enough ships to cut Britain off for ever. And they even had less planes for tactical reconnaissance. Fassbender buttoned his blue jacket, took his white Captain's cap and put it on in front of the mirror. He liked, what he saw. Maybe... maybe tonight he could hit a target. There was a very sweet and beautiful Brunette that was flirting with him every time. He started to smile, took his car keys and left his small flat.

Jay was already waiting for him outside the house. The last times entering the car his seablue eyes had glown with happiness and delight, but today he just looked pensive and tired. Even his eyes were clouded like the North Sea shortly before a storm.  
"Hey Maik." he said when entering the car and slamming the door shut. "Hello JayJay. You're alright? You look bad. You're sure you want to keep me company tonight?" "Just go. I desperately need to get drunk tonight." he grumbled and pulled his cap deeper into his face. Maik shifted gears and drove.

"You're such a party pooper tonight, Jay. You should have kept your arse at home. Not even getting drunk is fun with you." Maik growled two hours later. "Won't you tell me what is wrong with you?" Jay gazed into his glass of beer and didn't response.  
Maik boxed his shoulder. "Headquarters to Jay?" he said and his friend and engineer flinched. "What is it? Do you have news of Annemarie?" Jay shook his head. "Private calls after 10 p.m..." he murmured and looked at his watch. "In an hour's time then."  
Maik put his arm around Jay's shoulder. "I'm sorry, mate. But brooding around doesn't help either of you now. You have time enough for this in the coming weeks." Jay shook off his arm and glared at him. "It's easy for you to say things like these. You're not married." he said and downed his beer.  
"You're not fair, Jay. You know quite well I've got a fiancée I dearly love at home. And we'll get married during my next home leave." Maik also downed his beer and ordered two more, together with two Cognacs. "And if she were ill like Annemarie is, I wouldn't feel any different than you... I can promise you." He shoved one beer and one Cognac over to Jay. "Let me make you an offer: After these two I'll bring you home. Would be the right time for a call home then. And then you try to call home and get the latest news and go to bed afterwards. Deal?" Jay took his glass and clinked it with Maik's. "Deal." They both took a sip and a small smile flit overJay's face. "Thank you, Maik. You're a good comrade." "Now I'm offended." Maik pouted and Jay laughed. "Consider yourself cancelled for being my best man, Jakob." The laugh was stuck in Jay's throat. "I... what? Best man? But... but..." "Don't pretend you wouldn't know you're my best friend. How long are you on my sub now?" "For one and a half years, but..." "Exactly. Since you're my leading engineer. And we've been through quite a lot together, don't you think so? Operational cruises... several crisises of your marriage... Damn, you're more close to me than any other comrade on the sub... or the whole fleet."  
Jay lowered his gaze and Maik saw the soft blush on his pale freckled cheeks that wasn't coming from the beer. "Why did you never tell me?" "I thought that was obvious. Tell me one KaLeu who is a part time confessor?" Jay looked into his eyes. "I know one. KaLeu Fassbender is. He is a good KaLeu and like a father for his crew of boys, sometimes strict, but always sensitive." Maik started to laugh into his beer. "I think you're more drunk than I thought. 'Steely Fassbender' and sensitive... Finish your drink and I'll bring you home... before Annemarie spanks my ass for not looking after you." They downed their beers and reached for the Cognacs. "To the cruise." said Jay and raised his glass. "To the prey." said Maik and clinked glasses with Jay. They indulged the slow burning taste of the spirit and Maik softly moaned. "And believe me this, Maik: It's not Annemarie who will spank you. If you ever call me... Jakob... again," Jay said with the air of disgust on his face and a mischievous glint in his eyes, "then I'll spank your ass 'til it bleeds."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> KaLeu: abbr. for Kapitänleutnant, meaning Lieutenant as Commanding Captain  
> LI: abbr. for Leitender Ingenieur, meaning Head Engineer  
> BdU: abbr. for Befehlshaber der U-Boote, meaning Commander of the Submarines  
> 1WO: First Watch Officer
> 
> First names:   
> Maik, also Meik, is the german form for Mike. It's pronounced exactly the same way.
> 
> Jakob is the german form for James (so the british King James and the Saint James are König Jakob and Hl. Jakob in Germany
> 
> James having a british last name:  
> During history several british people came over to Germany to fight in wars as mercenaries and stayed after the wars. E.g. I had a teacher named Fox, whose ancestors came from England sometime during the 1600s.


	2. Chapter 2

Pers Log OLt. McAvoy  
La Rochelle 10/11/1941, First day at Sea

'The shipyard made a good job. All damages from our last cruise are fixed, even the corkscrewed propeller shaft. All in all our sub leaves a good impression. Yesterday everything was loaded, from food supplies to fuel to spare parts. Our new 1WO took charge of it.  
Now the sub is stuffed to the brim... in fact so stuffed that I'm always wondering how 50 men are supposed to fit in there. Who ever constructed this submarine should be condemned to live in it for the rest of his life... him and 49 of his construction colleagues for not stopping this embodiment of Claustrophobia. The beds have to be shared in the rhythm of the watch... and then the Eels in the crew quarters... heavens! It's just good that the crew is unchanged this way for five cruises now, including my machine crew, so they are well trained to work together. To instruct a new machinist during an operational cruise is highly ungrateful, a punishment even.  
Talking of things to be grateful for... I'm so happy that Annemarie seems to recover, whatever it is she was suffering from. She already looks forward to see me again soon... maybe after New Year... that is a nice thought to leave with. And I'm happy I don't need to think so much about it every day. I just hope she can leave Cologne soon...'

"How's the hangover, Maik?" Jay asked when Maik tried to push past him to the turret hatch. "Hangover was yesterday, JayJay. Today's service again." "Sure. Tell that fairytale to someone else. I saw you flinch with every loud sound in the submarine bunker." "And that's why I'll go up to the bridge now. The fresh sea air will do me good." Maik tried to smile.  
"It surely will. Just don't get seasick, you landlubber." "I refuse to tolerate such an offence, LI." Maik chuckled, grabbed the ladder and climbed up through the turret hatch. "Aye, Herr Kaleun." Jay answered mockingly and turned to go to the engine room. Here at the control station everything seemed to be alright, so he would take a look if the Diesels were working properly.  
"Alaaaaarm!" was yelled through the hatch and one by one the boys from the first watch came sliding down the ladder. "Flooding!" Jay yelled and was instantly back at the control station. The first mate started the alarm bell. "Submerge!" Maik yelled while he was locking the hatch. " Whole crew ahead!" Jay screamed and every crewmate started running through the submarine to get its prow down. Maik slid down the ladder and landed with a smash next to Jay. "30 metres, LI." he commanded. The steersmen looked up to Jay, waiting for his orders. "Front down 15, tail up 10." he ordered. The submarine tilted downwards and they heard the water closing around them. It became silent in the control station. Jay kept his eyes on the depth indicator. "Swing through, both on zero." he said and the submarine slowly tilted back into a horizontal position. "Sub at 30 metres." he reported.  
Maik remained silent and watched the crew in the control station. All, except their new 1WO, seemed to be the calm in person. That was to be expected. They all knew the procedure of alarm diving, but the 1WO was new on a submarine. It would be his first cruise.  
Jay saw a small fiendish sparkle in Maik's eyes and instantly knew, what was coming. "April fools day." Maik chuckled and Jay instantly relaxed when he saw Maik's sharky smile. "Test alarm... to wake you bunch up a little." Muffled groans and moans could be heard. "Everyone back on duty!" the boatswain yelled and slowly everyone returned to their duties.  
"Sub's okay, LI?" Maik asked and Jay nodded. "Aye, Herr Kaleun." "Good. Then let's get deeper and see if everything is waterproof. No need to go to sea if it's not the case." He strode closer to Jay, who turned back to his steersmen. "Front down 10, tail up 5." Jay ordered and watched the depth indicator. "50 metres." he reported.  
"Shipyard's guarantee is 90 metres." he heard behind him and looked over his shoulder. The 2WO was talking with the 1WO to explain what they were doing at the moment. Jay turned back to the depth indicator. "70 metres." "We can go deeper, of course." he heard the 2WO proceed. "90 metres." he reported and looked up to Maik next to him. "Deeper, LI." "110 metres." he reported. The submarine around them started to creak.  
"Well, of course we can't go down infinitely. Then the waterpressure outside will become to high and leaves us flat like a flounder." the 2WO continued to explain and Jay heard him smack his hands together for emphasis. "130 metres." he said. The submarine creaked louder now, in some places it even sounded as if the steel was singing. "150 metres." The indicator slowly reached the beginning of its red sequence and went over it. Now even Jay became a bit nervous when he felt the pressure on his ears. There was no need to go that far down now and he glanced at Maik. "170 metres." he said with a slight threatening tone in his voice.  
Maik looked at Jay and his serious expression softened a bit. "Okay, that's enough for today." he said and smiled. "Emerge, course 330 degrees." he ordered. "Close ventilation, blow in, front up 15, tail down 5." Jay ordered and glared at Maik once more. "You are so dead, I promise you." he silently growled and Maik grinned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OLt: abbr. for Oberleutnant, meaning Lieutenant (br.)/First Lieutenant (us), common rank for a Head Engineer  
> Eels: german 'Aale' is a slang term for Torpedos


	3. Chapter 3

Pers Log KaLeu Fassbender, 3rd day at sea

'This will be such a great cruise with our new 1WO... not. I can't stand this Hitlerdevoted babyface. Just let him have the first enemy contact. But I'll get him disciplined sooner or later. And who the heck does he think he is to forbid singing Shanties?! Must be a really sad row-boat he served on... or the Captain wanted to get rid of him. Well, thanks a lot for this... and to even top it he got the nerve to speak up against my LI with racial theories and if Jay might be even suitable for service because he got a british last name from his great-great-grandfather or something like that. I was barely able to keep him in check with my hand gripping his thigh below the table before he was able to jump over it and choke the 1WO to death. I wouldn't like to have him sentenced to death by a court martial for committing murder...'

"Damn it, JayJay! Are you insane?" Maik asked and slapped Jay's face so hard he crashed back against the starboard machine. "Pull yourself together, damn!" "I'll wring the neck of this goddamn 200 percent shithead! Who does he think he is?" "A fuck you'll do!" "Why? He could have had an accident... or gone over board..." The next slap hit his face. "You'll do nothing like this, Jay. Be sure that I'll take care of this arrogant child later. He didn't offend your heritage without consequences."  
Jay turned away from him. "I'm talking to you, LI McAvoy." "I'm busy, Herr Kaleun." Jay answered. "Sure, with electric motors in off-mode." "I have to check the batteries." "Franke can do that when we let him in again. Now look at me, for Christ's sake!" Maik grabbed Jay's shoulders, pressed him against the machine and gripped his chin.  
"I'm telling you this only once, so you better listen. Keep your head down, Jay. When you start to freak out with your temper you'll be ending up with a court martial. And if that happens, then even I can't help you anymore. You must understand this. And then you'll never see Annemarie again. Does this go in your stubborn skull?" Jay slowly lowered his gaze. " You're right, Maik, I know that. But I can't be offended to be a potential traitor by this little arrogant Hitlerjugend-leader!" Maik tipped Jay's chin up. "I can totally understand that, mate. I understand you only too well. But you'll promise me something now. You'll promise me to let ME handle this. And I promise you in return, that at supper the 1WO will beg on his knees for your forgiveness... and you'll be a good german officer and will grant him forgiveness. Deal?"  
Jay looked deeply into Maik's grey-blue North Sea-eyes. He knew this gaze from countless attacks on escorted convoys and the following psychological war between him and the Captain of a destroyer. Maik's inner wolf was wakened and he would hunt down his prey mercilessly. Jay lowered his gaze again and bowed his head. "Deal... whatever you say." he whispered. Maik patted his shoulder and Jay saw the sharky grin reappear on his face. He already felt sorry for the 1WO.

Pers Log OLt McAvoy, 3rd day at sea

'I have no idea what Maik did to the 1WO, but everything happened exactly like he had foretold it. At supper the 1WO humbly... oh I need to taste this word on my tongue... HUMBLY asked me to forgive his words and he honestly begged me with a panicky glint in his eyes not to report him for offending an officer. Maik had to nudge me with his knee under the table to remind me of my given promise, but the sight alone felt so good. And yes, I forgave him, being the incarnation of greatness and kindness like a good german officer. Almost a pity I obliged to Maik's nudge. Would have loved to know if this little arrogant prick really would have fallen to his knees... but I won't be greedy and I won't complain. The whole evening the 1WO was absolutely sugary towards me. And I mustn't forget he still is half a child. Maybe I really should forgive him. I'm sure he'll become quieter soon enough. When we come back home he'll be a grown up man.'


	4. Chapter 4

Pers Log KaLeu Fassbender, 8th day at sea

'It's boring. Sea is quiet and at times we're getting radio calls of other ships. Mostly reports about some civil ships in more southern regions.  
This morning a small escorted convoy was reported, but it was too far away for us. Goddamn lazy cruise! Well, at least the spirit in the crew is still good, but the longer we're not having something to do the worse it will get. The boys are young with their 18 or 20 years of age. They don't want to hang around for weeks being bored. And I'm not any different to them. But we can't do anything at the moment except reading, listening to music or doing crosswords."

Pers Log OLt McAvoy, 12th day at sea

'1WO Lehmann should reconsider to disturb torpedo maintenance again to improve it. The boys know what they are doing, they are trained, know every chore by heart. But I'll let him do as he wishes. He'll see what'll happen. Was I like him when I was his age? A newbie eaten up by eagerness and ambition? I can't remember it by the life of me... maybe because it was before the war began and I never had such pressure on my shoulders.  
This sub and its KaLeu were my first job as freshly baked LI and Maik quickly taught me that you need more than a loud voice to guide a crew.'

Pers Log KaLeu Fassbender, 17th day at sea

'As if I had known... with the weather the mood of the crew started to change to the worse. Boatswain had to resolve the first fights. Let's see how long there will be peace in the front compartment...'

Pers Log OLt McAvoy, 21st day at sea

'Now it happened what I was afraid of... well, it's not like I hadn't warned the 1WO, but he had to put his nose into torpedo maintenance again. To be honest, another maintenance wouldn't have been neccessary at all, but Maik and I must keep the boys busy somehow... and we're running out of ideas. Everything is three to five times maintained, controlled, oiled or heaven knows, what. If we were on one of Maik's old sailing ships the boys would probably be scouring the deck every day... what is a sort of punishment, too. And I wouldn't want anyone to improve that, too...'

"Herr Kaleun, I must protest against your decision!" Lehmann growled and rose from his chair at the table. "There is no decision to be made, 1WO. You don't even have the slightest evidence that the open pot of Vaseline was thrown after you. You said yourself that you had turned your back to the crew when it happened." Maik said calmly.  
"There was absolutely no need to throw it across the room, Herr Kaleun!" "Says who, 1WO?" Jay asked. "Have you ever maintained a torpedo?" "No, but..."  
"But you know the Eels have to be greased with Vaseline to keep them from being stuck while loading or shooting?" "Yes, of course I know that, LI, but..."  
"Then you surely know that this grease needs to be checked during maintenance and to put on more, if needed? Many of those eels are transported horizontally on the floor, as you might have seen. Some of them even with planks over it to make it possible for the crew to move a tiny bit."  
"I'm aware of this, LI, but..."  
"No 'but', 1WO." Maik said. "I think, I understand what the LI wants to say. Now tell me honestly, watch officer Lehmann, that you are 100% sure that all Eels were perfectly greased when you turned your back to the crew. In case you are, then I'll handle the crew myself and then there will be a collective punishment, if the guilty person can't be found."  
Jay glanced to Maik from the corner of his eye. His jaw was clenched, his eyes dangerously narrowed and full of strict hardness. Slowly he began to understand how Maik had managed it to boil the 1WO tender the last time. He carefully glanced over to Lehmann and saw him blush, sweat pouring from his forehead.  
"I... Herr Kaleun, I'm not." he murmured and bowed his head, beaten. "I confess I'm not 100% sure." "Well, can we agree then that it could have been an unfortunate accident?" Maik asked. "Yes, Herr Kaleun." Lehmann said and sat down again.  
"Take my good advice, Lehmann." Maik said with softer voice now. "Don't try to improve everything here. The men know their duties and they're already serving as a crew the fifth time in my service. I'm content with their service and that should be enough for you. But I'll have a chat with the boatswain later. He should explain the maintenance to you next time. And you'll hold your tongue and learn. And when you're still thinking that there might be a possibility for improvement, you'll talk about it with the boatswain, the LI or me. And if we should think it would be a good improvement, then it'll be made. Is your Ego capabable to live with this?" "My Ego?!" Lehmann growled. "Yes, your Ego, 1WO.  
You're too convinced of yourself and in this little nutshell is no place for such a thing, do you get this? Here we need team spirit. When shit gets serious we need to blindly trust and rely on each other, otherwise we'll go down with our swimming coffin. Do you want that, Lehmann?"  
Again Lehmann bowed his head in defeat. "No, Herr Kaleun... please forgive me. I will learn, Herr Kaleun. And I will try to fit in." Maik visibly relaxed and Jay leaned back to the wall behind his back, relaxing, too. It seemed like the proud 1WO was finally broken now. "Okay, 1WO. That is enough for me for the moment and I regard our chat as ended. Send me the boatswain and then go back to your duties." "Yes, Herr Kaleun." Lehmann rose and slightly bowed before Maik before he left them.  
"Maik, you're an amazing guy. I'd never have thought you would break him." "You're wrong, Jay. I didn't break him. And it wasn't neccessary to break him. Contemplation was neccessary... something nobody ever taught him. He needed to understand that things are different on this ship than they were on his last. And I believe he slowly begins to understand that. I give him one more week and he'll be tame as a lap dog." He grabbed his mug of coffee and also leant back against the wall.  
"And I need to thank you for your beautiful and explicit explanation. You surely know that not even one word happened to apply for this special case, don't you?" Jay allowed himself a mischievous grin and watched Maik over the rim of his own mug. "I do... but HE doesn't." Maik burst out laughing.  
"Clever little devil that you are. That was your backlash for his offence, right?" "Herr Kaleun, I'm deeply wounded by your accusations." Jay pouted, his blue eyes shining with pure angelic innocence. "I'm not resentful... well, not much." he confessed when Maik raised his eyebrow. "But I wanted to keep the back of my boys free." He lowered his gaze and took a sip. Maik patted his thigh. "You're gonna be a very good KaLeu, JayJay."


	5. Chapter 5

Pers Log KaLeu Fassbender, 29th day at sea

'Alas! U32 is in touch with an escorted convoy consisting of eight ships and is just 12 hours away from us. I think we're gonna be part of the fun.  
Eight ships is far too many for one sub alone, especially because at least two of them might be destroyers. Crew's excited. Understandable after about a month of boredom. JayJay, Franke and Harmsen get all they can from the Diesels and the batteries for the electric motors are charged to the brim.  
All torpedo tubes are loaded. I should order bed rest for the off duty to make sure they are in top condition, when we arrive.'

The dark cloudy sky came in handy and the wind kept the sea a slightly bit ruffled. This made it harder to see them. Maik and Lehmann kept an eye on the convoy, three more men watched sea and sky around them to hinder surprises. "UZO on bridge." Lehmann said and it was reached up through the turret hatch. He immediately put it into place and turned it towards the convoy. "Larboard ahead, 1WO, the oil tanker. Double shot on that one. Single shot on the following." Maik ordered silently, hardly louder than wind and sea around him. Lehmann bent down to look through the UZO.  
"Enemy speed 5, prow left, position 25. Torpedospeed 20." he said down the hatch. "Got it." was answered. "Water tube 1 to 4, open muzzle covers."  
"Aye." came the answer from below. "Fire when ready, 1WO." Maik said. "Tube 1... go." "Go." "Tube 2... go." "Go."  
Lehmann was about to aim for the second ship as the man beside him reported: "Destroyer, starboard ahead. Heading towards us." Immediately Lehmann stopped his aiming and reached the UZO back down. Maik's loud "Alaaaarm!" passed him on his way down the ladder and the shrill alarm bell started to ring. The three crew men slid down the ladder and Maik locked the hatch. "Flooding!" he yelled while doing so and slid the ladder down. "Damn, I hope he didn't see us." he said and his gaze searched for Jay. "Submerge, 90 metres, LI, and fast."  
"Front down 15, tail up 10." Jay ordered and watched the depth indicator. "Swing through, both to zero. Close ventilation. Sub at 90 metres." he reported. "Both machines small ahead, three dez to larboard." Maik ordered and the hum of the electrical motors grew silent. Maik turned to his radio operator. "Hear something?" "Propeller sounds, starboard astern." he whispered and gently turned his handle to follow the sound. "Coming closer."  
"Time torpedo 1." the first mate said, stop watches in his hands. Nothing happened. "Two dez larboard, both machines half ahead." Maik ordered. "Time torpedo 2." the first mate said and again nothing was to be heard. "Fucking torpedos. Bloody misconstructions." Jay cursed.  
A loud blow from an exploding torpedo banged outside the submarine and the crew in the front compartment cheered. "Silence, damnit!" the boatswain growled loudly and the cheering died down the moment the second torpedo hit its target. "Hear something?" Maik asked once more. "Astern, coming closer."  
"Three dez larboard, same speed. Deeper, LI. 120 metres." "Front down 10, tail up 5." Jay ordered and the sub sank deeper. They heard the creaking in the control station now... together with the shrill singing and breaking of steel. "Ship's sinking." said the 2WO to the 1WO. "Hull is breaking." Lehmann nodded and listened to the sound. "Good shot, 1WO. Not bad for the first try." Jay said and Lehmann looked up to him. "Thank you, LI." he answered and Jay could tell he meant it honestly.  
"Propeller, larboard astern... coming closer." the radio operator reported. "Hard a starboard, machines silent, 50 rpm." Maik ordered. The screaming of the drowning tanker had become more silent now, but the sounds of the destroyer became louder... and with him the sounds of exploding waterbombs. "Hard a larbord." Maik ordered when the destroyer was heard over them. "Both machines AK." he ordered too late and an exploding waterbomb severely shook their submarine. "Three dez starboard!" Maik yelled and another bomb exploded, letting their submarine rock and bounce like a wild Mustang. "Deeper, LI, 150 metres. Then machines silent with 50 rpm again."  
The destroyer above them slowly fell silent and the next two bombs didn't affect them anymore. "Propeller larboard... further away." the radio operator reported. "Damage report?" Jay asked. Maik had been too concentrated to realize the leakages in the control station and looked in his direction. "Leakage Papenberg done." "Leakage galley done." "Leakage diving rudder done." his men reported. Jay took a deep breath and relaxed. "Well done, mates." he said relieved. "Herr Kaleun..." "Just heard the news, LI. Well done." Maik said when their eyes met.  
A loud and shrill 'Ping' was heard and the smile died on their faces. "No... please, no." Jay whimpered and looked up. "Higher, LI. 60 metres. Quickly!"  
"Front up 15, tail down 10." Jay said and the next 'Ping' was to be heard, closer this time." "Hear something?" Maik asked. "Starboard ahead, getting louder."  
"Hard a larboard, both machines small ahead." "Sub's at 60 metres, Herr Kaleun." "Both machines run small, hard a larboard." was reported. 'Ping'  
"Propeller starboard, further away." 'Ping' "What the heck is this?" Lehmann whispered. "ASDIC." the 2WO whispered back. "Tommy's ultrasound for..."  
"Shut the fuck up." Maik growled and glared in their direction. Both men nodded obediently and fell silent. 'Ping' Again further away this time. "Both machines silent, 50 rpm." Maik ordered. 'Ping'...'Ping' Maik and Jay looked at each other with this double ping and both men thought the same. Re-enforcement!  
"Second propeller larboard ahead. Coming closer." 'Ping' 'Ping' "First propeller starboard astern, coming closer, too." "Hard to starboard, both machines half ahead." The destroyers were trying to encircle them. They needed to get out. 'Ping' 'Ping'  
"120 metres." "Front down 10, tail up 10." 'Ping' 'Ping' Another water bomb severely shook the submarine. 'Ping' 'Ping' The destroyers sounded like they were directly above them. "120 metres, Herr Kaleun." "Two dez larboard, both machines AK." 'Ping' 'Ping' Somewhere above them another water bomb exploded and shook their submarine. 'Ping' "Both propellers astern..." 'Ping' "Further away." 'Ping'  
Suddenly they heard a bang that wasn't a water bomb. "What was that?" Maik asked. "Torpedoblast, somewhere larboard." the radio operator reported.  
'Ping' "Steer the course, both machines small ahead." 'Ping' "Propellers move to larboard... further away... almost silent..." 'Ping' Maik allowed himself to slightly relax and closed his eyes. The propellers couldn't be heard anymore. Even the last 'Ping' was more silent now. He looked to Jay.  
"30 metres, LI. First mate, calculate a big circle. I want to emerge at dawn to locate our position. After this wild zig-zag even I don't know where we are anymore." "Aye, Herr Kaleun." answered the first mate. "Sub's at 30 metres, Herr Kaleun." Jay reported a moment later.

Pers Log OLt McAvoy, 30th day at sea

'I hardly slept after playing cat and mouse with the destroyers... even less, because after we emerged the crew reported a water bomb lying on deck close to the turret... it was a big fat beauty of a bomb and we can count ourselves lucky we didn't dive deeper than 150 metres during or after this chase. That baby would have torn apart our turret and we would have drowned like rats in seconds. They rolled it over board and a short time after it exploded astern, giving the crew one last hell of a shock... my poor nerves... Maybe it is time to go to Maik and beg for some of his secret liquor. The beer he granted each of us is hardly enough to calm me down. My hands are still shaking, damnit...'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AK: slang for äusserste Kraft voraus, meaning maximum speed ahead


	6. Chapter 6

Pers Log KaLeu Fassbender, 38th day at sea

'We had another contact with an escorted convoy... to be honest, with the remains of it. Was a nice 60.000 tons tanker we had seen burning at the  
nightly horizon. I set course to it in case it was one of our ships to report it, but it was a Tommy's ship. Either our torpedos really are junk, like my LI suggests, or our comrade was disturbed by a destroyer like we were some days ago. Whatever the reason, I decided to give it the mercy shot and send it down to the ground for good. How... dear God, how could I have known there were still sailors aboard...'

The spirit was low, no matter where Maik showed up that day. He knew his men too well to not know the story had been spread all over the submarine already. Shortly after the mercy strike on the burning tanker they had seen people on deck, jumping into the water from the burning ship. Everyone on the bridge was shocked. "Why did noone come and got them? Goddamnit!" Maik had yelled.

He couldn't understand this. No oil tanker was ever alone, mostly they were escorted by some fast and small escort vessels, but none of them had helped the comrades. It was impossible that the whole convoy had been destroyed, that was a one in a million chance. So they had left them behind...  
More men jumped into the floods, Maik estimated about 10 or 15 of them... and the northern Atlantic was so damn cold in December, maybe 4 degrees  
and below. Maik knew this only to well from his time serving on a sailing ship before the war. One huge wave in a storm could make you freeze so  
hard that you believed your bones were of pure ice. Man overboard meant sure death in less than 15 minutes without drowning. A cold shiver ran down  
his spine.

"They're heading towards us, Herr Kaleun." said the 1WO next to him and tore Maik from his thoughts. It was true. The poor bastards tried to reach the submarine. "Heeeeelp!" he heard some of them screaming desperately. Some of them already drowned...they couldn't swim, like so many comrades  
in the Navies all over the world. Who was able to swim only prolonged his torment and despair. The physical fight for life was accompanied by the  
psychological torture to try surviving although one knew it was futile and death was inevitable. Maik couldn't swim either and noone could make him wear a life jacket. HE decided how fast he died in the floods, not a vest or the mercy of other sailors. And now he had to make a decision he didn't want to make.

"Both machines half astern." he ordered and hated himself for doing so. He withheld his mercy from sailors in need although he wanted to help them.  
His whole body started to shiver and shake and he bit the inside of his cheeks 'til he tasted blood. He wished he also could have started to cry like the young boy next to him. The desperate cries for help tore his heart apart and he couldn't bear this any longer. "All men down. Get ready to submerge." he ordered and turned his back to the sea.

During breakfast the next day 1WO Lehmann finally exploded. "Why, Herr Kaleun? I still don't understand how you could leave sailors in need behind."  
"Lehmann, shut up." his 2WO hissed. "No, I won't. I'm also part of christian seafaring. You don't leave men overboard behind and you help shipwrecked  
people." he agitated.  
"So the rumors are true I was hearing in the machine room?" Jay asked and threw his fork on his plate. Maik glared at all of them and addressed Lehmann.  
"I don't have to give you account, 1WO." he said threateningly and with steel in his voice. "I'm not demanding account, Herr Kaleun. I want to understand your reasons. You surely are aware that your order was a death sentence." "Yes... I'm perfectly aware of that, 1WO." Maik growled. "Then please, Herr Kaleun, explain your reasons to me. Mind me, I'm asking you, not demanding anything."

"Then let me tell you this, 1WO: You surely saw that it was about 10 men heading towards us, maybe more, right?" "Yes, Herr Kaleun." "Would you kindly tell me, where I was supposed to put those men after saving them?" Lehmann started biting his lips while thinking. "My only possibility would have been outside on deck, right? Because inside we're already stuffed to the brim with our own men, right?" Maik pryed further. "Right, Herr Kaleun."

"Right... well... then please tell me what it would mean for a submarine to have people on deck, 1WO." "We would be unable to submerge, Herr Kaleun." "That's right. Plus, we would have to set course back home to get rid of our captives as soon as possible... during storms that can be severe, as you may have witnessed, and always endangered to be seen from an enemy's plane that might try to shoot and drown us. And that would mean I would endanger the captives AND my own crew. Do you understand that, 1WO?" Maik pryed mercylessly and saw Lehmann lower his gaze and his head. "I understand, Herr Kaleun. Please forgive me." Maik leant back against the wall. "You're still young, 1WO. You never had to make such a decision... and I hope and pray you never have to..."

"What's up JayJay? Problems with the electric motor?" he asked when entering the E-machine room. "Please close the bulkhead." Jay answered and Maik closed the round door to the machine room. The Diesels behind it were muffeled immediately. "What's wrong with the bitch?" he asked.  
"Oh, the bitch is fine... but YOU are not." "Me? What should be wrong with me?" he asked. "Stop telling me bullshit, Maik. I know you since I'm aboard and we are like an old couple at times, so I think I might know you quite well. You're totally down and at the end of your nerves. The oil tanker is still nagging on you, isn't it?"  
Jay reached between the machines and brought up two bottles of beer. "What are you up to, Jay?" Maik asked when Jay locked the bulkhead and sat down on the floor. He opened the two bottles, looked up to Maik and reached him one. "What I'm up to? Hearing your confession. Sit, drink and confess your sins to me, my son." he said. Maik sat down across him, his back against the door and took the bottle out of his hand.

"So you are my confessor now?" he said, clinked bottles with Jay and took a huge gulp. "And what will we do now?" he asked. "Now, dear Maik, you will open your heart to me... like I did som edays ago after the chase with the destroyers." "Ah, come on, that was totally understandable. Have you the slightest idea how hard I had to pull myself together when the second destroyer showed up? Believe me, I wanted to wet my pants out of fear that moment... damn was I relieved when the second sub showed up."  
"Well, that's interesting. So steely Fassbender is not as steely as it is told?" Jay said mockingly and took a sip from his bottle. "They should call me 'Glassy Fassbender'... hard 'til the pressure is right, then he cracks." Maik also took another sip. "Won't take much anymore and he'll shatter into pieces." "Bullshit, Maik. That's why we're sitting here. Pressure release." Maik stared into nothing for a few moments before searching the seablue eyes of his friend again.  
"Am I an emotionless bastard, Jay? Don't spare me the truth." "No, Maik. On the contrary. Just asking me, and yourself, this question shows that you are NOT emotionless. And really deep down inside you know that, too." Jay answered without hesitation. "You're neither emotionless nor a bastard. You had to make a decision and you put 50 lives over 15. It is NOT YOUR fault they still were aboard, Maik."  
"Why did I have to give this goddamn thing the mercy shot? Why, whywhyhwy?!" Maik screamed and threw himself against the door in his back, feeling the need to punish himself. "Heyheyhey! Stop doing that!" Jay said, setting his foot on Maik's chest and pressing him against the door in case he'd try to chastize himself again. He felt Maik convulse underneath his foot, trying to do it again, but Jay held him firmly in place. "Don't make me sit on your lap and pin you against this wall, Fassbender!" he growled, his eyes threateningly gleaming, and Maik's resistance faded.  
"It happened, for God's sake! It's war and people die at war... every day." he continued and released Maik again. "Not like this..." Maik said and bowed his head, fidgeting with the bottle in his hands.

"Yes, also like this... and worse, even. But we just don't see it, Maik. The ships we're hitting with our torpedos, do you think the men aboard only drown miserably? Some burn, some are torn apart by explosions or hit by shrapnels..."  
"I beg you, Jay, stop it. That's awful. I don't even want to think about that." Mai said and downed his beer. Jay saw tears shine in his eyes.  
"Nobody does, Maik. And that's why we don't do it. We're all masters of suppression. Because if we weren't we all would revolt and end up in front  
of a firing squad. We're soldiers, Maik. We have to do what we are told, no matter if it breaks us or not. And you may believe me, it shatters me, too. Sometimes I wish to be as lighthearted as our boys are. Most of them never had to spend a thought about what war really means. Our war is impersonal. We shoot torpedos and play hide and seek with destroyers. We never happen to actually SEE the people aboard."  
Jay reached his half full bottle over to Maik. "Here, you can have the rest. I don't want it anymore." Maik took the bottle and drank. "Thank you, JayJay. You are a good chaplain." Jay gave him a smile. "I happened to have a good teacher, Maik."


	7. Chapter 7

Pers Log OLt McAvoy, 40th day at sea

'It's enough now, Maik also finally realized this. We've been at sea over a month now, fuel and food supplies are slowly ending. Maybe we even have to sail the last few miles to La Rochelle... I bet Maik would like that. Besides, it's Christmas in a few days... maybe we can make it to be back to La Rochelle on time for a Christmas party... and maybe... maybe... the BdU is gracious enough to leave us be until the new year... to be alone for just a few days. Alone... that would be nice after the time in this small nutshell. And maybe there even is the time to go home for just one or two days. There surely is snow at home now... when was the last time I even saw snow?'

Pers Log KaLeu Fassbender, 41st day at sea

'Well that was it with going home. Just got a commander's order over radio... why the hell didn't we stay submerged? And who the heck had the idea for this order?! I could vomit so hard right now. New harbour La Spezia, Italy... are they aware at HQ that this means I have to pass Gibraltar somehow?! A whole submarine, including its crew, loaded on a truck and brought over land is easier to do than to sneak past this english enclave...  
Why don't they just order me to shoot a torpedo at my own sub?!'

Pers Log OLt McAvoy, 42nd day at sea

'So now we are in Vigo. Only good Spain happens to be neutral and any ship may anchor at their harbours. I watch the loading of fuel and food supplies, so we are able to make some small repairs and load some more spare parts, too. It's nothing really important, but some light bulbs and fuses other small stuff didn't survive the last time. Maik and his other officers are aboard of the supply vessel, as ordered. I'm very curious and anticipated what news he'll bring when he returns. Maybe the BdU thought about it once more... at least I hope he did. I happen to love my life. Gibraltar... still can't believe it!'

It was silent in the control station, all eyes glued on Maik and his first mate Andresen. Since they had left Vigo an hour ago the two of them had stuck their heads together forging plans. Now they wanted to tell their outcome. "Boys, we got to get into the Mediterranian Sea somehow. Command expects us to ensure supplies and enforcement for Rommel in northern Africa. Question burning under our nails is: How the heck do we get past Gibraltar and the english ships there? Any creative ideas from your side?"  
"Well, we're a submarine. We can submerge." said the young 2WO and some of the crew nodded. "Good plan, 2WO. That's what we're about to do. Next question is: How deep and how far?" "We go as close as possible, submerge to 100 metres and fly through beneath the Tommies with machines at AK." the 2WO continued his plan and the men nodded again. Maik allowed himself a fatherly smile. "I wish it was that easy, 2WO." Gibraltar is not the North Sea. Ever heard something about currents?" 2WO nodded. "Good, because in the Strait of Gibraltar we have two of them running against each other." Not few faces looked questioningly at him now.  
"Alright, boys. Time to learn something new. The northern Atlantic is quite cold, right?" Nodding. "But the Mediterranian is warmer all year due to less wind and more sun. That means water evaporates, more than in the Atlantic Ocean. This evaporated water continuously flows back from the Atlantic, what causes a surface current in the Strait of Gibraltar. Got that?" Nodding again.  
"Good, because now it gets a bit more tricky. Because of the evaporating water the amount of salt in the water is increased and it becomes heavier and sinks down, being overflown by the less salty sea of the Atlantic. That's an endless circle, causing the deeper water to flow out of the Mediterranian back into the Atlantic Ocean, causing a depth current in the Strait of Gibraltar. Now tell me what'll happen when we're diving too deeply?"  
"We'll have to fight against the current." Jay said pensively. "And this will cause needless stress for machines and batteries, not to mention the propellers."  
Maik looked over to Jay. "That also were our concerns. Thank you for confirmation, LI. So how could we keep the stress as low as possible?" "From my point of view, being only technical, I would propose to get as close as possible, submerge as little as possible and be tugged with small force through the Strait from the surface current... let us carry by it, so to say." Maik glanced to Jay and allowed himself a soft smile before looking back to his first mate. He was smiling, too.  
"That is mainly what we also thought about. We sneak close by night, dive to maybe 30 metres and let us carry with small force, maybe even silent drive in case someone might listen. And that means, everyone here in this nutshell will remain as silent as possible, too, is that understood? I expect absolute silence from you. If anyone dares to make the slightest noise while submerged, I swear, I'll feed him to the fishes myself. Understood?" "Aye, Herr Kaleun." answered his crew. "Good. Everyone to their stations. Night falls in two hours, then we'll try our luck."


	8. Chapter 8

Slowly the submarine parted the dark waters. The sea was slightly duned, but Maik tried to keep the water around them as calm as possible, making as few keel waves as he could. The bright foam on the waves could give their position away. Gibraltar wasn't far away anymore and in the distance Maik and his first mate could see the lights of the patrolling vessels. Maik looked up to the sky. He would have preferred the darkness of new moon, a dark clouded sky with rain would have been even more perfect to keep sight as bad as possible.  
"We should go more to starboard, Herr Kaleun." Andresen whispered. "But the current is strongest right in the middle, Andresen." Maik answered him. "I know that, too, but look starboard ahead. There is some big space between the patrolling vessels." Andresen said and pointed in that direction. "Some big space?" Maik huffed. "Well, it will be one... when we arrive there." Andresen replied and Maik had a problem not to crack up. "That's why I like you, Andresen. Always joking, even in the eye of the storm."

The laughter in his throat died when he heard the deep humming in the air. "What is that?" he asked and he and Andresen listened for a moment. The humming grew louder. "I think it might be coming from the vessels, Herr Kaleun. It's growing louder because we're getting closer to them." Maik bit his lower lip. "No matter what it is, I have a bad feeling about this. Two dez starboard, both machines half ahead." he commanded down the hatch. The humming grew quickly louder. Andresen seemed to be right about the vessels. "Ready to submerge." he said.

A loud rattling noise tore the silence apart, together with the cause of the deep hum, being an english plane. Next to him Andresen fell to his feet, blood spurting from a wound in his chest. Maik grabbed him under his arms and tried to reach him down through the hatch carefully when a bomb exploded closeby. The wave crushed over his head and Andresen slipped from his grip. The plane rushed over his head and Maik saw it turning around.  
The pilot came back for a second try...

"Course 150 degrees, both machines AK!" he yelled while taking cover from the machine gun firing at him again. His eyes followed the plane. The pilot dropped the bomb and it nearly hit the submarine, shaking it severely from left to right and back. "Get ready to submerge!" he yelled while trying not to be thrown overboard. The patroling vessels started to fire now, too, their grenades hitting the water around the submarine, coming closer with every shot." Maik heard Jay's voice while he tried to get back on his feet again.  
"LI to commander, larboard diesel must stop, anchorage is broken!" Maik tried to get down as fast as possible. "Alaaaaarm!" he screamed from the top of his lungs and locked the turret hatch. "Everyone ahead!" Jay screamed and Maik felt the submarine tilt forward while he slid down the ladder, his heavy boots landing loudly on the metal floor of the control station. "60 metres." he said out of his breath. "Front down 15, tail up 10." Jay ordered. "Close ventilation, trim water ahead, 500 litres." The submarine tilted more and quickly sank deeper. "60 metres. Swing through to horizontal." Jay ordered. The submarine dove deeper...

70 metres... 80 metres. "Swing through to horizontal, I said." "Front diving rudder's stuck." said his steersman and jumped from his place to move the handwheel. "Doesn't move!" he screamed. 90 metres.  
The second steersman and Jay grabbed the wheel and tried to move it with all their combined strength, without success. 100 metres.  
"Shit!" Jay cursed and stopped his efforts. "All men asteeeern!" he screamed from the top of his lungs and heard the men fight to run against the angle of the submarine. 110 metres.  
"Trim water astern, 1000 litres!" "Trimming pump fails!" came the answer back. 120 metres.  
Jay grew desperate. "Pressurized air into the diving cells... gimme all you have, damn!" he screamed and watched the depth indicator. 140 metres.  
"Stay there... now... now, stay there, for fuck's sake..." They could hear the pressurized air stream into the diving cells, but it didn't helpa thing. 150 metres. "Come up... please come up... cooooome... pleeeeaaase..."

Maik heard Jay's voice break with despair and looked at him. His blue eyes were glowing feverishly, his normally pale freckled face had turned red and the tendons and muscles of his neck were tensing while he implored the depth indicator to come up again. 160 metres.... red section.

Jay fell silent, bowed his head and took a deep breath. "Submarine unstoppable." he said and Maik flinched when he heard the sudden calm in his voice. Jay had accepted the inevitable.  
He raised his head again and started to watch the depth indicator like it was hypnotizing him. "180 metres." he said and the submarine began to creak more and more loudly. "190 metres." Maik was deeply shaken inside while he watched his friend reporting the depth like a machine. He could feel the pressure on ears and body rise, but all his emotions revolved about the fact that his best friend's soul was broken and he wanted to cry.

"200 metres." Maik saw some of his boys put their hands over their ears against the rising pressure and started grinding his jaw. "210 metres."  
Maik also started watching the depth indicator and desperately tried to stop it with his willpower. His ears cracked from the pressure.  
"220 metres." A loud bang startled the men. "230 metres." Another bang. "The bolts! The bolts are breaking!" the 2WO screamed.  
"240 metres." Another bang and one of the men screamed in pain. The flying bolt had hit his arm. "250 metres." The sub creaked and squealed like a tormented human being while more and more bolts shot through the air. "260 metres." The indicator's end of measurement was reached, the indicator itself still moving. "Oh dear Lord..." Maik whispered and bowed his head.

Suddenly the whole submarine was severely shaken. Everyone tried to get a grip on something or someone when they tumbled over each other. The already repaired leakage broke open and the steersmen immediately tried to fix it again. In the fusebox several fuses broke and only the blue emergency light was still working. Sparks were coming from the switch cabinet and it started to burn.

"Fire in machine control!" someone yelled, but Lehmann was immediately there with the fire extinguisher. The 2WO was exchanging fuses and a few moments later some light was restored in control station. Jay tried to help fix the leakage and the incoming water stopped. Maik felt like in a trance with all these things happening around him. "Damage report!" he yelled, feeling totally helpless.  
"Leakage diving rudder... fixed." Jay panted. "Short circuit in fuse box fixed." "Fire in switch cabinet extinguished." his WOs reported. Suddenly he remembered his first mate again. "How's Andresen?" he asked. "Schmidt is taking care of his wound." his 2WO reported and Maik took a deep breath.  
"So we still seem to be here." he mumbled to himself and took a look at the depth indicator. 280 metres, no further change. The sub was lying on solid ground. "Can't believe this baby can stand such a depth." he said, his eyes still glued to the indicator when a bang sounded through thesubmarine. It came from the direction of the machine room.

"Water in E-Machine bilge!" "Water in torpedotube astern!" "Water in machine room!" Everyone stumbled to their feet and ran to the direction of the reported damages. Maik pressed himself against the ladder to get out of the way, being the last and only one to stay at control station. Alone.

He couldn't believe how big the station looked now being all empty of people. Slowly he strode to the beds of the watch officers. His radio operator/paramedic Schmidt and Andresen would be there.  
When he reached them Schmidt was trying to wash the blood off of Andresen's chest and stomach. He somehow had already managed to put a pressure dressing on the wound. "How is he?" Maik asked softly and Schmidt looked up to him. He lost a lot of blood, Herr Kaleun, but I could stop the bleeding. The bullet is still in his wound, I can't get it out under these circumstances." "Will he... ?" Maik asked. "I don't know, Herr Kaleun. I did everything possible to prevent him of a Sepsis. If he survives the next 24 hours, then he'll make it. But the bullet needs to get out." "If we all survive the next 24 hours, Schmidt..." Maik said and took a deep breath, "then I'll believe in miracles again."


	9. Chapter 9

Pers Log KaLeu Fassbender, 43rd day at sea

'If only there was something I could do, damnit. Everyone around is busy with something, working like mad men and I can't do anything. I have some basic knowledge about the technical aspects of our sub, but I don't know anything about the 'how way this is working with that' and why it's maybe broken and what is needed to do to make it work again... that's the handicap when you worked on sailing ships.  
For nine hours we are on ground now and the men somehow made it to fix the leakages... at least one good news... we'll not drown miserably like rats... for the time being. But that isn't helpful anyway. Three parts of the sub are filled with water now and we'll never get to the surface again like this. Maybe it is a good time to start praying again...'

Pers Log KaLeu Fassbender, 43rd day at sea

'I'm worried about Jay... more than 12 hours and he refuses to take a small break, this goddamn stubborn Westphalian that he is... I already told him, even commanded him, to take a break and at least take a nap for an hour, but he does neither listen nor obey. Mumbled something about broken battery cells and yelled for bridges and lime milk. Then he ordered me to send all free man to bed and to give them potash cartridges. Then he was gone again.  
I needed some time to think about it and to understand what all this meant. He needs the lime milk to neutralize the leaked battery acid, because when this comes into contact with water we'll have chlorid gas down here... and we won't get that out again without our ventilation system. And he needs the bridges to bridge over the broken and dead battery cells, because without the batteries the electric motors won't start again. And without them we'll get nothing to work down here, no pump, no hydraulics, nothing...  
And the potash cartridges for the free men he needs to save us some oxygen down here. Well, so at least I have one job now... every twenty minutes I take a look at the boys with a flashlight, looking if they are asleep and securing that the cartridge really is in their mouth. And the next twenty minutes are already over again. Time for my next turn. At least I don't feel completely useless this way...'

Pers Log KaLeu Fassbender, 43rd day at sea

'In case we really ever get out of here again I'll propose Jay for a promotion and a medal! What he and his crew did the last 16 hours is just damn incredible. He bridged every living battery cell with bridges and some old and rusty wire and the trimming pump also seems to work again. He wants to get the water out of the sub with it. We moved every drop of water into the control station bilge because trimming itself doesn't work anymore.  
Not to repair under the circumstances, we need a shipyard for that. But who cares? If Jay really is able to get the water out with the trimming pump, then we really might get out of here... please, dear Lord... please... help us get out of here...'

The electrical motors where humming silently and lights went on in control station again. Jay huffed and Maik pat his shoulder. "Trimming pump." Jay said. His voice was hoarse and as tired as he looked like... grimy and gritty he looked like he would pass out any moment. Maik handed him a bottle of apple juice. "Drink, you need the sugar." Maik whispered in his ear. Jay opened the bottle and greedily soaked the juice in. "Thanks." he said and handed the almost empty bottle back to Maik. They could hear the soft gurgling of the vanishing water, then there was only silence. The water was gone. "Water trimmed out, LI." his steersman reported and Maik saw Jay's blue eyes start to sparkle. "Pressurized air... everything you have still left." he said and his other steersman opened the valve. They heard the air squish into the diving cells. Nobody said a word or even dared to move.  
You could have heard a needle drop.  
The sub slowly started to shiver and suddenly they felt the sub breaking free from something on the ground. Then it was silent again. Jay's eyes were glued to the depth indicator again, but nothing moved. "Maybe it will never move again." Maik thought. The indicator had gone over it's scale. It was absolutely possible that it was broken now. Maik took a deep breath and closed his eyes.  
"Sub's rising!" Jay shouted and Maik opened his eyes again. The crew was screaming and cheering around them. "Stay calm, boys... stay calm." Maik said although it was almost impossible for him to stay calm himself. "270 metres." Jay said and Maik heard his voice vibrate with anticipation. He also watched the indicator again. "260 metres."  
Around them shoulders were patted and embraces were shared. "250 metres." Jay's shoulders were also patted several times and his eyes started to glow like bright blue bonfires. "240 metres." He rubbed his face and breathed deeply and relieved. "230 metres."  
Maik couldn't bear it any longer, he wanted to explode with happiness and joy. He stepped closer to Jay, embraced him and pulled him against his chest. "220 metres." Maik dug his fingers into Jay's shoulders, pressing his sturdy frame firmly against him. "210 metres." "YOU are a goddamn genius, JayJay... and your hands are made of gold. From this day on I'll pray to you in God's place." he whispered and felt tears running over his cheeks. "200 metres."  
Jay put his hand over Maik's and turned his face towards him. "Don't praise me that early, Herr Kaleun. Where not yet out of this." "Are you mad? We're emerging. We will neither drown here nor suffocate nor will we be smashed by the pressure. I don't care what happens as long as we get back to the surface again. And that is your merit, Jay. You and your crew made this possible. Everyone of us owes you his life, Jay, and I want you to know that." Once more he firmly pressed Jay in his embrace and leant his head against Jay's.  
"160 metres." Jay said and they could feel the pressure on their bodies slowly subsiding. "Stop the air." Jay ordered and his steersman closed the valve again. "150 metres."  
"First watch get ready, red lights on. It will be dark outside." Maik said and slowly released Jay from his embrace to put his jacket on. "140 metres."  
Maik was relieved the red light was switched on. He knew quite a few of his men had tears on their faces, but he secretly wiped his fingers over his cheeks and closed his jacket. Down here with the bad air and the sweat and heat from the hard working men it was quite hot and damp, but up there it would be freezing cold. "120 metres."  
Slowly he climbed up the ladder to the turret hatch, waiting at the periscope to climb higher and open the hatch. His 1WO came up to him. "100 metres."  
"Herr Kaleun? What will happend when we resurface?" he asked and Maik could see the worry on his face. "Honestly, 1WO? I don't know. We can be more than lucky and nobody will get it that we are resurfacing. And with a bit more luck we might even be able to get away here unseen. But we also can be unlucky and emerge next to a patrolling vessel. Then we're fucked. In case you are a spiritual man, Lehmann... speak a little prayer for us. We need it." "60 metres." he heard Jay's voice below him.  
"Herr Kaleun... we surely had our problems during the cruise and sometimes we didn't get along very well. But whatever may happen up there, I want to thank you. I learned very much in your service." Lehmann reached out his hand. "Thank you, Kapitänleutnant Fassbender. It was an honour to serve you." Maik shook his hand. "Thank you, Lehmann. I'm happy you're not resentful. If we get back to La Rochelle we should share a beer sometime soon." "I'd love to, Herr Kaleun." "30 metres."  
Maik withdrew his hand and slowly climbed the rest of the ladder. "20 metres." His hands gripped the wheel of the hatch lock. "10 metres." He heard the sub breaking through the surface and felt the slow up and down when the sub finally settled on the waves. He turned the big handwheel and pushed the hatch open. Cold and fresh air streamed past him and down into the sub. Maik took some deep breaths and climbed slowly through the hatch, carefully looking around the sub. Lehmann also slowly exited the hatch. "Seems like we are alone, 1WO." Maik said and looked up to the sky. "Now please... please let the engines start." he begged silently.

Everyone in control station greedily sucked the fresh cold air into their lungs. Even Jay breathed as if he had never been granted the mercy of some oxygen at all. They had resurfaced, they were allowed to breathe again. His heart pounded against his chest with joy and it felt like it would simply jump out of him any second. Above nothing was to be heard, except the whistle of the wind. He moved to the base of the ladder and looked up.  
"Request machines?" he asked. Maik's face appeared in the hatch and he said: "Both diesels." Jay nodded and slowly turned around. "Well, one more for anticipation." he said and went to the machine room. The hair on the back of his neck rose. He desperately hoped the diesels hadn't be drowned in the water too long. Without them they couldn't charge the batteries anymore and those would be empty again soon. Too many cells had died.  
His machinist Harmsen already waited for him. Jay tried to give him an encouraging smile. He knew how much effort Harmsen had put in to clean both machines from any possible water and to refill it again without any bubbles of air. "Turn it on, Harmsen." Jay said and Harmsen turned the switch.  
First they heard a small humming, then first the starboard diesel and then the larboard diesel started to spit before coming to roaring life, the latter one shaking in its badly fixed anchorage. Harmsen slowly increased their speed and both ran in their used metallic heartbeat.  
"I... I think... it works... I think, it runs." Harmsen said and turned to his engineer. "It runs! It ruuuuns!" someone yelled through the sub. Jay leant against the wall and slowly sank down to the floor. "It runs, LI!" Harmsen cheered and started to laugh. Jay also started laughing like a mad man before he embraced his legs, leant his forehead onto his knees and started to cry.


	10. Chapter 10

Pers Log KaLeu Fassbender, 45th day at sea

'I still can't believe we made it... made it out of Gibraltar without being caught... made it to cruise along the coast without being attacked.  
I just hope it stays like that 'til La Rochelle. We have permission to get back there. Our damages are too severe to make a second try on Gibraltar and I'm really grateful HQ saw it like us this time...  
Today there is a slight hangover mood. After we made it back to the Atlantic Ocean I allowed the crew to plunder our beer supplies and the hell get drunk... Heavens, even I did...  
Poor Jay slept the whole day yesterday. I found him in the machine room, Harmsen had put a blanket around him. I asked him what had happened and he answered he would believe Jay simply passed out from exhaustion after all the efforts. My poor Jay... my dear dear friend... he worked so hard, exhausted himself so much for us and without him we surely would be dead right now.  
But we're still alive... even first mate Andresen is still alive. Schmidt says he is in a stable condition, slightly feverish, but nothing severe... another crewmember with golden hands.... I'm so grateful to have them in my crew.  
As soon as we're back home we're gonna make a really huge party, that's for sure. And if we continue to be this lucky we should be home tomorrow. My boots can't wait to feel firm ground again...'

"I can't believe we're home again." Jay purred when he saw the submarine bunker come closer. He leant his forearms on the banister and enjoyed the sight. Maik stood next to him, watching the landing. His crew looked totally exhausted, but each and everyone of them was smiling all over his face. He allowed himself a small smile now, too.  
"The miracle of Christmas." he said and put a hand on Jay's shoulder. Jay looked up to him. "Christmas..." he said dreamily. "What a beautiful gift this is. We have missed Christmas Eve and presents, but this is almost better." he said with a smile and Maik felt his heart beat faster. "With snow it would be perfect." Jay said and Maik cracked up.  
"Forget about the snow, JayJay. And forget about the presents. From now on you are our official Christmas Child. You gave us the most beautiful and important gift we could have... our lives." Jay heard Maik's voice tremble and saw the tears in his eyes. "Please, Herr Kaleun, brace yourself. What are the people supposed to think when 'Steely Fassbender' is crying like a child?"Jay deadpanned and Maik burst out laughing against his will.  
An ambulance for Andresen entered on the Quai. Maik turned around and saw Andresen being lifted carefully through the hatch. He was terribly pale but he instantly smiled when he saw the blue sky and felt the sun on his face. The gangway came down and the paramedics entered the submarine.  
"Bye, Andresen. Get well soon." Maik said and Andresen beamed. "Don't leave without me, Herr Kaleun. I'll be back for the next cruise." he answered and Maik smiled when he was brought to the ambulance.  
"Okay, boys. Get off board, we're ho..." The word home was stuck in his throat when he heard the loud howling of the alarm. "Off! Off!" he yelled.

Hell broke loose. The men astern ran up the gangway, stopping and reaching down their hands to help their comrades to the Quai. They heard planes quickly coming in and the first salves of machine guns rattled into the water. A high singing announced a dropping bomb which hit the harbour entry.  
Jay and Maik were the last to leave the sub and started running towards the bunker.  
Jay could hear more gunfire and more bombs hitting the harbour. Debris was flying around him and he could hear people scream in panic. The planes came in again and gunfire hit the concrete floor and walls around him. His heart wanted to jump out of his chest, but he doubled his efforts. They needed to reach the bunker... the bunker was safe... why couldn't the engineers build everything as sturdy as bunkers?  
He zigzagged his way over the Quai and jumped headfirst into the bunker. Above him a bomb hit the roof, but the roof held. Jay panted and felt dirt and concrete dust on his tongue and in his throat. He coughed severely and raised his head when he heard the screams around him.  
The boys from his crew, who had made it into the bunker, sat and laid around him, some crying in shock and terror, some cradling wounded or dead comrades in their arms. He heard the yelling for the paramedics, the screams of panic and pain. A shock went through him. Maik was gone!  
"Maik! Maaaaiiiiik!" he screamed from the top of his lungs, his head whipping in every possible direction. He had been behind Jay when they had jumped onto the Quai. He had to be here somewhere. Jay stumbled to his feet, still looking in every direction. He couldn't spot him.  
Outside it was silent again. The planes seemed to be gone again and even the FLAK in the harbour was silent. The attack was over.

He slowly strode towards the Quai again. He remembered passing a train for goods and supplies outside. Maybe Maik had searched for shelter beneath it, he thought while he saw people emerging from underneath said train. On the Quai death and destruction awaited him. Debris on the Quai... what was left of it... wounded and dead people, buildings destroyed... he passed their radio operator Schmidt and their 2WO... next to them he passed his machinist Harmsen...   
Jay had to look away. They all had been off the sub before him and hadn't made it. A shiver ran down his spine and he had to fight back the upcoming tears in his eyes.  
He turned to the right and a wave of grief washed over him... there was their submarine... slowly sinking to the ground of the Harbour... their sub, which had brought them all home safely.  
Jay tried to breathe and a tear rolled down his cheek. "Farewell, my beauty... and thank you." he whispered.   
Now he became aware of the small figure kneeling on the Quai, watching the submarine sink, too. The sun on his ginger hair told Jay it was Maik. He slowly strode closer to him. "That's a sad day today." he said and knelt down beside his friend.  
"Sub sunken... part of our crew dead... what have we done to deserve this, Jay?" Maik asked and turned towards his friend. Jay was shocked when he saw blood pouring from Maik's mouth and he was deathly pale. Even his stormy blue-grey North Sea-eyes were clouded and tired now. He grabbed Maik's shoulders and inspected his body. Two bullets had hit him in the back... and had emerged through his chest again. "Meeediiiiic!" he yelled down the quai when Maik fel against him. Jay started to shake him.  
"No... Maik, no... Don't make me shit my pants, mate." he yelled at him. "Keep your eyes open, damnit! Don't fall asleep now!" Maik collapsed into his arms and Jay sat back on his heels and cradled Maik's head on his lap. "Maik! Maik, I dare you to pass out!" he screamed and slapped Maik's face hard.  
"Meeediiiic!" he yelled again, knowing it was futile. The despair wanted to tear his chest apart. "Stay with me, damn... stay the fuck with me, mate! Look at me, Maik!" he screamed and slapped his face again.  
Slowly, like it was the biggest effort ever in his life, Maik opened his eyes again and looked into Jay's eyes. "I'm so glad that you're with me, JayJay." he said weakly and coughed blood. "Of course I am, Maik. I'm here and I will stay here 'til the medics arrive. And you'll stay with me that long, too, understand?" Jay said and hot tears poured over his cheeks. "I'm so happy I mustn't die alone." Maik whispered.  
"Who's dying here? You're as good as new soon, just you wait. They make you whole again, Maik. And I promise you, next year we'll both go hunting again." Jay babbled and Maik smiled and lifted his hand for Jay to take it. Jay gripped his hand firmly like he never wanted to let go again.  
"Thank you, Jay... you're such a devoted liar." Maik whispered squeezing his hand.  
"Please, Maik... please... I beseech you not to give up. Remember, you're 'Steely Fassbender'... nothing can bring you down..." he begged with breaking voice, the tears flowing like hot, salty rivers over his face.  
Maik kissed the back of Jay's hand, leaving a bloddy stain on his knuckles. "It was an honour to serve with you... and an even bigger one that you were my friend... Goodbye, Jay..." Maik whispered and closed his eyes.  
"Maik... Maik!" Jay screamed at him and slapped his face, but Maik never would open his eyes again. Jay closed his eyes and screamed his pain and sadness out to the sea. 

The End


End file.
